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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28210041">Like Real People Do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirerightsactivist/pseuds/vampirerightsactivist'>vampirerightsactivist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ADHD motherphuckers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Art Collab Au, Bigender Deceit | Janus Sanders, Iguana’s name is Hozier, Iguana’s name is Wentz, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nonbinary Character, Paint Making, Painter Logic | Logan Sander, Painter Morality | Patton Sanders, Patton hoards paint and supplies, Pining Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Punk Ass Bitch Remy, Remy has an iguana, Spray Paint Artist Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, author had too much fun tagging things, eats paint too, everyone is neurodivergent, lmao thats a tag?, logan hates that, my god! these bitches gay! good for them, patton and logan are qpps, rociet is implied, this boy makes paint out of food then licks it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:41:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,875</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28210041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirerightsactivist/pseuds/vampirerightsactivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternatively titled: Virgil reinvents the wheel to run himself over and Remy gets a pet</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Like Real People Do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is for the cowards 2020 secret santa and specifically for airam who deserves a nice au alongside the playlists i made. *cocks gun* yellow sus</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Virgil watched Logan from the couch that they had moved into Logan’s room in the art house. Patton had suggested it stating that Logan needed a comfortable place to relax in between classes. Logan had of course protested, saying his desk was also acceptable. Virgil had sided with Patton, only so he could have a place to crash for the days he had off from work. He could nap in peace and not have his snot nosed sibling bother him about their love for Emile, or for Virgil to help them give themself a stick n poke of a coffee bean like they’d been asking for probably since they entered high school. </p><p>Curled under three blankets Virgil watched Logan, his soft smile hidden by the blankets half covering his face.</p><p>Distantly he wondered what it would be like to curl up with Logan and exist in the same spot together, comfortable and safe. No stress to put on a mask or pretend to be put together when the two could enjoy listening to storms raging outside or to the loud, spontaneous gatherings held nearby in the community centers. This neighborhood was alive with so much noise it was a comfort to be able to hear music and laughter as strangers become fast friends. </p><p>“Dammit,” Logan cursed, automatically dropping a quarter in the swear jar Patton had left in his studio. Virgil raised an eyebrow, coming back to the reality of the distance between him and Logan. </p><p>“You good there, L?” Virgil drawled, the blankets fell off his body as he pushed against the couch. </p><p>Logan shook his head and sighed, his eyes darting up to look at his friend with an emotion he couldn’t quite place. “The paint that Patton gave me and now I don’t have the right shade of indigo to finish this piece for my mom.” He showed Virgil the tube. “I didn’t put the cap on tight enough after I used it last time.”</p><p>Virgil whistled lowly. “That’s rough buddy. Seriously I’m sorry.” He had put his hand on Logan’s shoulder to comfort him when his phone went off. Pulling his phone out Virgil groaned when he realized that it was Remy calling. </p><p>“Hey kid, what’s up?” Virgil asked, shoving his free hand into his pocket and walking a little ways away from Logan for some privacy. </p><p>“Hey, do you happen to know what kinda things iguana eat?” Remy asked quietly into the phone. Virgil’s eyes narrowed. </p><p>“Rem, what the fuck did you do?”</p><p>“Bro relax, chill. I didn’t do anything. I just have a pet now that mom and dad don’t know about.” Remy rushed through the last sentence, biting their lip on the other side of the phone. The iguana on the other side of the phone, currently dubbed Way, was busy exploring the hideout Virgil and Remy had made over the summer in the shed. There were little tags and art pieces thrown up all over the walls along with the comfiest seats and blankets they could find in one corner, a desk with Remy’s electric violin and his oboe’s case and more miscellaneous instruments and sheet music in the other and so, so, so many boxes with paint cans in them all strewn about in what told the tale of two messy young adults sharing a crowded space in relative peace. </p><p>Virgil groaned rubbing his forehead absentmindedly at the impending headache Remy’s shenanigans were likely to lead to. “Give me five. I'll be home and then you and I can go get the lizard a habitat.”</p><p>“Like that? You’re not going to tell mom and dad?” Remy asked in genuine surprise. Normally Virgil gave them some level of shit for these kinds of things. </p><p>“Nah, you’re in high school now, any mistakes you make you're gonna learn from on your own.” Virgil leaned back against the wall and eyed Logan, who was going through his paints frantically, searching for a near perfect replacement that he definitely didn’t have. </p><p>“Hey Rem? I might be a couple minutes later than expected. I’ll be there as soon as possible okay?” </p><p>Remy punched the air in success. “Yeah sweet, tell your boyfriend I said ‘hi’ by the way.” They hung up before Virgil could snap back at them.</p><p>Shoving his phone back into his pocket Virgil looked up at Logan and gave him a hesitant smile. “I gotta go help Remy with the iguana they found but I’ll text you when I get a chance, yeah?” </p><p>Logan nodded his focus already back on the artwork he had laid out in front of him, probably already doing the mental gymnastics to fix the issue. “I will see you later then. Make sure you say goodbye to Patton on your way out, he’s been asking about you.” </p><p>Clearing his throat he looked up at Virgil, giving him a rare smile. Virgil grinned and reached over to ruffle Logan’s hair before gleefully skipping out of the way. In one fluid motion he was turned around and heading out Logan’s door. </p><p>“See ya L, same time next week!” </p><p>Logan watched him go with the faintest look of adoration written in his eyes like the stars in the night sky out in the countryside before turning to his art book and opening the piece he was working on. </p><p>It was of Virgil as the Fallen Angel piece by Alexandre Cabanel. It hadn’t been what he’d intended to do but during a tour at the Fine Arts Museum he’d seen the painting hanging in a new exhibit and he was struck with the realization that he could see Virgil in Lucifer's eyes. The hurt and rage was something he’d recognized when Virgil was mad about something that had happened at the restaurant or what he’d seen on the news or online. That fire and brimstone and pure anger he was able to muster. Logan traced the edge of his book and sighed tiredly before putting it away and focusing on the notes for his next class. </p><p>Virgil peeked into Patton’s studio, knocking on the doorframe lightly. “Hey Pat, you got a minute?” He asked, watching him mull his current paint, a deep, burnt red that shifted as he walked closer and looked closer to orange and then black. Patton smiled and stopped mulling, putting the tool away and scraping the paint to the center. </p><p>“Yeah it can use a rest. What’s up Virge?” He asked, looking up at his friend happily. Virgil smiled, reaching over to wipe some pink paint off his cheek.</p><p> “I need your help. Logan ran out of this blue you made him, and I wanted to make him a tube, what's the pigment?” Holding up the tube he’d swiped from Logan’s desk while ruffling his hair, he set it down for Patton. The artist scooped it up and looked over the paint tube, humming all the while. </p><p>“I made this with indigo and a purple orcher. I didn't expect it to work while I was making it because natural indigo is notoriously hard to mix,” he mused, bright eyes flashing with a hint of his racing thoughts. Patton’s eyes were so deep like the sea, just a flash of what might be lurking under the surface and then the tides shift and it’s gone― off to hint and taunt others. Patton looked at Virgil. </p><p>“You want to make him a new tube?” He blinked owlishly from behind thick, coke bottle glasses at Virgil. “I can do it, you know it’s no trouble for me to make paint for Lo-“ </p><p>“I want to do it-“ Virgil interrupted hastily, shoving his hand into his pocket to pull out a fidget cube. His fingers found the various buttons and knobs on it while he calmed down and took a few calming breaths. “What I mean is, Logan is a close friend and I know you two are uh?” Struggling to find the words Virgil chewed on his bottom lip anxiously. </p><p>“Queer platonic partners,” Patton offered, giving an easy peaceful smile. “Okay, I don’t think I have time to walk you through mixing and mulling especially for acrylic paints right now and certainly not with Logan in the other room so I’ll message you later okay? We’ll figure out a time and place.” </p><p>Virgil smiled, squeezed Patton’s shoulder. </p><p>“Thanks Pop Star, I have to get going now but you have my number right?” </p><p>Patton’s mouth was agape. “You gave me a dad themed nickname!!” Positively beaming like a supernova Patton cleared his throat. “Yes, yes I do. I’ll message you. Now get out of here before Logan catches you,” he teased. Virgil nodded, pulling his mask up and winking at Patton. </p><p>“I’ll see you later,” he called as he left the studio and entered into bustling streets. </p><p>—————</p><p>Remy sat with the lizard, making direct and mildly uncomfortable eye contact with their new friend. “So, are you a Fall Out Boy type of poet, or should we listen to Hozier?” They asked. The iguana blinked once, twice; it seemed to be staring the kid down. “Mixed playlist it is! Just be careful though- this is godtier taste my friend. Like shit, this should be a spiritual awakening for both of us.” </p><p>Putting on the playlist Remy leaned back and eyed the lizard. They’d never had a pet before, their parents always had an excuse as to why the family couldn’t have one. But this iguana… Hozier- they decided his name- needed a home and a family. And Emile and Remy could be that home and family. Recalling how happy Emile looked whenever they watched Lilo and Stitch, Remy hummed. </p><p>“Ohana means family. And family means no one gets left behind.” They murmured, kissing the iguana on his head. </p><p>—————</p><p>Slipping into the siblings’ hide out, Virgil eyed the lizard, very happily at home in Virgil’s napping spot.<br/>“So- where exactly did you find him?” He drawled, eyeing the punk responsible for all his headaches. Remy offered an awkward smile. </p><p>“I uh, found him? On the street.” </p><p>Virgil’s head rested in his hands in exasperation. “So you just, took him?” He asked, regretting every second of agreeing to help. </p><p>“He has burns on his feet from the concrete! Of course I took him- what do you take me for? A monster?” Remy cried out in distress, hands flapping in the lizard whose current name was between Hozier and Pete Wentz. </p><p>“Mi sol I just got your message what’s going on— oh.” Emile stood in the doorway looking between Virgil and Remy and Hozier. “Is that an iguana?”</p><p>“Yes, his name is Hozier-Wentz!” Remy crowed, looking far too proud of themself considering the look that Virgil was currently burning into the back of their head. </p><p>“Right okay, do you need me to call up Eirá to see if xe can take a look at him and what he needs?” Emile asked, already pulling his phone out and scrolling through his contacts. His phone was housed in a bright pink deco case, stars and various anime symbols that Virgil couldn’t recognize sunken into the whip. </p><p>Remy’s smile grew wider and wider. “Stitch you always know what to do!” They hugged Emile tightly and gave him a kiss on the cheek while flipping off Virgil out of sight from their boyfriend.</p><p>Emile hummed softly, putting the phone up to his ear and speaking rapid fire- was that Norwegian? Virgil frowned. Emile was like that side character in the detective stories who had contacts with everyone and hacking skills that would put some government agent to shame. He didn’t know how the high schooler knew so many people despite moving here less than a year ago from Chicago. The kid was incredibly smart and good for Remy. Kept their temper under control, but also helped them get away with far too much. </p><p>Remy turned to their brother and eyed him with far too bright eyes. “So, can you help me get a cage and other stuff for Hozier?” They asked, knowing that Virgil couldn’t resist their pouting face.</p><p>Groaning Virgil nodded, leaning heavily against the wall. “Yeah sure, but you’re covering my shift tonight.”</p><p>Remy punched the air and cheered silently just as Emile got off the phone. “Alright Eirá says we can bring him in and xe will do a check up and tell us exactly what he needs.”</p><p>Remy picked Wentz up and headed towards the door with an air of self importance of some royalty. Emile and Virgil exchanged glances and followed after the teen. </p><p>—————</p><p>Finally slipping back into Logan and Patton’s studio later that night Virgil made his way through the dimly lit hallways towards Patton’s studio. The room was full of cabinets and drawers full of art supplies that Patton was constantly giving away to students or just hoarding because he never knew if he was going to need it later. </p><p>“Hey Pat, sorry I’m late,” Virgil offered sheepishly, watching as Patton mulled paint on his work table. The artist looked up, a streak of pale pink across his nose. </p><p>“No worries Virge. This paint won’t take too long for me to finish then I’ll show you how to mix indigo.” He explained, scraping the watercolor into a puddle and starting the mulling process again. </p><p>Virgil nodded, gnawing on the bat chewelry that Janus had given him a couple months ago after he’d destroyed another set of headphones. “So how long will it take to mix it?” He asked. </p><p>Patton chuckled. “That one took me almost two hours. Indigo pigment is hydrophobic and it's hard to mix into acrylic paint compared to a watercolor. How big of a tube do you want to give Lo?” He asked, looking up through his hair with a knowing smile. </p><p>Virgil shifted uncomfortably at the look Patton had on his face. Everyone seemed to know about his crush on Logan to the point where his anxiety would flare and he’d worry that Logan himself knew and was merely humoring Virgil so as to not hurt his feelings. That panic gripped him like walking into the freezer at the diner during a rare dry hot day, making him feel almost sick with worry. </p><p>Patton stood up his chair scraping against the floor with a loud, uncomfortable screech that sent both of them into a tic fit. Patton’s shoulders drew up and he craned his head into one shoulder with a shudder while Virgil rolled his shoulders back and shivered, tapping the inner parts of his wrists together rapidly to self soothe. They both looked at each other with sheepish grins on their faces. </p><p>“Why don’t you get an office chair?” Virgil asked, knowing that they could easily go find one thrown away at an office supplies store for no reason other than the box being damaged. </p><p>Patton made a face and shook his head. “My posture is bad when I sit in one of those.” </p><p>Understanding dawning on Virgil’s face, he nodded and picked up his chair to sit near the desk while Pat set up for the indigo paint. </p><p>An hour later Virgil stared at the lumpy paste that he’d been mixing in near defeat before adding more paint binding and mixing it with a spatula. He hadn’t even gotten to the point where he could mull it because the pigment refused to mix with the acrylic. Maybe if he just kept adding more it would mix eventually? </p><p>Another hour had passed, and Virgil was left with a runny ruin on the desk. He slumped down in defeat, hair getting in the paint before he jerked up and groaned. “Wash day was literally yesterday!” </p><p>Patton clucked his tongue in sympathy and started cleaning up the ruined paint. “It’s nearing midnight, go home and wash that out of your hair. We can continue this later okay?” </p><p>Virgil nodded and got up slowly, stretching and popping as many joints as possible. “Goodnight Pat. Thank you for this.”</p><p>Smiling Patton gave him a kiss on the forehead before shooing him off home. </p><p>—————</p><p>Remus groaned low, head hitting the diner table with a clunk, tablet pushed away in defeat. </p><p>Virgil eyed him dryly. “Artist block?” He asked, pouring him another coffee and setting a bowl of soup next to Roman. </p><p>The long haired twin nodded. “This final is due in a week and I still can’t get the character designs down. I’ve chosen the arc I wanted to do from Imortal and everything. I just need the designs so I can storyboard it.” </p><p>Virgil pat his friend’s shoulder in sympathy. “This is why I freelance and just stick to a physical medium, that way I don’t have to stress over things like this.” </p><p>Remus chuckled lightly, shoving Virgil. “Yeah yeah, we get it you’re pragmatic. Go make out with my cousin you two are practically twin flames.” Virgil’s face burned hot as he ducked away from Remus. </p><p>“Shut up, as if. He’s got his fancy professional art career with Patton. All they need is an overpriced apartment, a dog their landlord doesn’t know about and they’ll be good.” </p><p>Roman rolled his eyes, putting his spoon down. “Dude, we’ve been telling you for almost a year now. Logan has two hands you both can hold his hands. Patton and Lo are queer platonic partners and not exclusive. Go get your man so we don’t have to listen to him blaring Chance the Rapper and Kanye. It’s getting old, like really fast.” </p><p>In retaliation Virgil pulled the top half of a wrapper off a straw and blew into it to shoot the rest square in Roman’s forehead. “I’m good with how things are, trust me. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” </p><p>Roman squawked, rubbing his forehead lightly with a pout on his face. “Why’d you hit meeee?” He cried, before straightening up as the door to the diner opened.</p><p>A figure swept through, kitten heels clacking on the linoleum floor as Janus eyed the three men in front of her. He took his mask off and smiled at Roman, sitting down next to Remus so she was directly across from him. Virgil rolled his eyes.<br/>“Hello to you too Jay.”</p><p>Jay waved a hand as she looked over the art Roman was sheepishly showing him. “Hey Vi, how’s Remy’s puppy?” He asked, fully engrossed in the art. </p><p>“Hozier is good, fuckin spoiled rotten though for a lizard we just got.” </p><p>Roman snorted . “Puppy?” He asked Jay. </p><p>She fixed his eyes on Roman. “Yes, puppies aren’t just dogs, any pet can be a puppy if you truly love it enough.”</p><p>Roman nodded, the Filipino man looking away as his cheeks heated up. “I suppose so.” He murmured, focusing on his soup instead of trying to decipher the inexplicable look in Janus’ eye. </p><p>Virgil shook his head and turned to go back into the kitchen to check on his other tables orders, leaving the trio to themselves. </p><p>—————</p><p>Patton shoved a box into Virgil’s hands. “This is everything you need, a muller, a palette knife, a syringe, a couple tubes, pigment, binder and a glass tray to do your work on!” He clasped his hands together, eyes bright with delight over this whole situation. Virgil shifted the box carefully.</p><p>“Thank you Patton, seriously this is almost too much to ask for.” </p><p>Patton shook his head. “I get it though, it’s for Logan.” His eyes softened just a bit. </p><p>“How do you mean?” Virgil asked, even though in his head he knew exactly what it was that Patton meant. </p><p>“It’s just, Logan’s important. He’s so quiet and reserved. But when you talk with him about his interests or he’s showing you something that’s special to him- he just kinda grows? He fills the world around him with this light and excitement that normally doesn’t exist for him. It’s like he stores it all away in a treasure chest to keep it safe from the world. Like he knows that he can’t share it freely or the world will take and take until there’s nothing left. </p><p>“He tries so hard to be seen and to have a voice so history doesn’t forget him. But I think Logan’s passion and what he puts out into the world are two different things. The Logan the world gets versus the Logan we get, are two completely different people.” Patton finishes with a deep breath, smiling shyly at Virgil who offers a hesitant smile in return. </p><p>“I… yeah. Logan’s uh. He’s important.” Virgil shifted nervously, he couldn’t put why Logan was important into words. Doing that would require him to admit that he has feelings for Logan, and that would mean uncertainty and well. Virgil couldn’t do uncertainty right now, something new and different would change everything in his life and cause it all to come to a standpoint. He would actually have to express to someone what he wanted out of their relationship instead of just being on his own. Not for the first time the thought of running away flashed in Virgil’s mind before he pushed it away. </p><p>—————</p><p>Hours later Virgil stared at the rich, creamy paint in front of him. He’d done it. The swatches matched Patton’s notes and it looked perfect. Scrambling for the tube that Patton gave him, Virgil scraped the paint into the open end. It was finished, and he couldn give it to Logan and he’d be able to finish that painting he’d lamented about and he’d smile that soft warm smile that felt better than the Houston sun- Virgil felt himself smile shyly. Maybe, maybe it was okay to admit it here in the privacy of his room that he liked Logan’s smile. Here it was safe, to bask in the warmth that Patton waxed poetry about. Poetry that would put Remy and Emile to shame. With the paint packaged Virgil still had a little left over. Grabbing some cardstock he sat down and carefully painted a heart with the indigo. </p><p>Carefully putting the three tubes in the pocket of his jacket before pulling his mask up, Virgil headed outside. The early morning air was cool and damp as he walked to the studio, quietly berating himself. He couldn’t hand the paint to Logan directly. That was too risqué, making the indigo paint was a risk itself. Slipping into the empty studio he headed to Logan’s classroom and paused when he found him fast asleep on the couch, notebook on the floor from where it fell presumably when he went to sleep. Grabbing the book, Virgil closed it and set it on Logan’s desk with the tubes and the cardstock with the heart. He went to leave before pausing, and staring at Logan. Grabbing the blankets from the closet he covered Logan up, making sure his head was properly supported by the pillow. </p><p>Logan looked so peaceful like this, all the signs of worry smoothed away as he dreamed. Virgil hesitated before pressing a kiss to his forehead and slipping out. Logan would find the paint and chalk it up to Patton surely. And everything could go on as it did normally, safely. Just maybe with a few lingering glances and maybe a few new tubes of paint popping up whenever Logan talked about wanting to paint something new.</p>
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